I used to think that if I was doing what I should be doing my path would be free from obstacles. Silly me. Smooth paths lead to mysterious candy-covered Gingerbread houses deep in the woods. In one hand, we have millennia of fables and teachings that tell us to be wary of the smooth path because it leads to our demise and might very well be smooth because it is a setup. In the other hand, we have teachers, parents, and ministers telling us that if we just follow the right path then our lives will move forward and we will live happily ever after with our retirement plans, investments, and wise decisions.

Religious texts expound on being wise and looking for a narrow, tricky path instead of taking the wide road paved in gold. They talk about good deeds, charity, and pilgrimages instead of talking about whether it is better to buy into new housing or old when comparing property values. Wisdom, ethical conduct and mental discipline are valued more than popularity, success, and good memes. These tenets are from 3 of the largest religions in the world, yet somehow they’ve been pushed aside by people who have good intentions.

Instead of warning others, as was done throughout history, we try to motivate others to make good choices without explaining what that means in detail. In place of handing our young the tools, we worry that sharp edges and scary tales might make them quit and so we leave the tales half-finished. There is a long history of quotes about the dangers of following primrose paths. Virgil wrote in around 20 BCE, “facilis descensus Averno” which translates to ‘the descent to hell is easy’. Ecclesiastes states, “The way of sinners is paved with smooth stones, but at its end is the pit of Hades.” (21:10) A hadith is as follows, “Paradise is surrounded by adversity, and Hellfire is surrounded by lusts.” These are not new ideas and I know that I was raised reading, or hearing, most of them.

My favorite tales, growing up, included Aesop’s Fables, Grimm’s Fairy Tales, Hans Christian Andersen’s tales, Edgar Allan Poe’s works and Robert Louis Stevenson’s stories. I most definitely had enough warnings. But I didn’t get those warnings from the grownups. The warnings were reduced to fantasy. Fantasy was like the movies. I grew up with movies. My father worked for Technicolor; his friends drew for Disney. My hometown was a Hollywood set. The next valley over was Korea in the M*A*S*H* TV series. Go east to another valley a few miles away and that was the plains of Minnesota, live oaks not withstanding. My godfather lived onthe coast of England in Palos Verdes – The Ghost and Mrs Muir. Even the valley where I lived was part of the fantasy, withing a mile from my home, the sets for Gunsmoke stood while the other end of the valley was Georgia for parts of the Dukes of Hazzard. Tales and television were not reality, at least where I grew up.

No one talked about uncomfortable subjects. In the world of my family, they rounded the sharp corners of life with alcohol. They wanted a world where the movie world they worked in became their real world. I know they weren’t the only ones. They pursued dinner parties and cocktails. Goals were built around having what they mimicked with plywood and paint. They believed they could have the fantasy as their reality and the world was happy to sell them the supplies. If anyone should have known better, the generation that grew up in the wreckage of the early 20th century should have. But they only told the tales of good times. They left the warnings out because they had survived and didn’t want to remember disaster again. They looked towards their comfort and rested on their laurels. The paths they took in their exhaustion became wider and smoother. Their tales became ‘back in my day we ate whatever we were served’ or ‘when I was a child I walked to school, in the snow, barefoot, uphill, both ways, and I was grateful’. The lessons were lost because they didn’t want to face that it could all happen again.

In that world, built on movies and television, justice was always served. The good guys always won and they wore white hats so you knew which team they were on. Everything on the evening news was the truth. So if someone was a drunk in the gutter, it couldn’t be because an awful fate had befallen them, it could only be because they had done it to themselves. The homeless had to have chosen their lifestyle, or were relegated to it by other bad choices. And any person could change their lives simply by pulling themselves up and making better choices. Because life was fair and just and if we chose better the road was smooth and the rewards arrived to the deserving along the way. If we gave 10% to the church, we would receive much more in return. If we went to college we would have a safe and steady future. If we invested our money right we would all be millionaires.There were no predators lying in wait for the innocent. But, if a predator did find us that must have been our fault.

But the old tales tell us just the opposite. They tell us that bad things can happen to anyone. They tell us that planning can help but that there are no guarantees. They assume that communities and families help each other when the Big Bad Wolf comes calling. After all, the third little pig didn’t refuse to shelter the other two because they should have built their houses like he built his. Old tales remind us that not all endings are happy, and that most are bittersweet. Was it Little Red Riding Hood’s fault that the wolf thought she would be a tasty meal? Modern reviewers of her adventure would note that she foolishly went into the woods unarmed, or that she should have been more prepared, or for that matter, who lets a teenager journey through wolf-haunted woods by themselves just to see their grandmother?

Sometimes we just have a round of bad luck. We can always look back and wonder if we could have prepared better, or chose differently. But, if we’re expecting a smooth trip and run into stormy weather, find we didn’t have enough stones to mark our trail – we knew better than to use bread crumbs, the birds eat those – as we headed into the unknown, it certainly doesn’t mean that we made a mistake in choosing our path. In fact, if the path were too easy, that’s the time to be suspicious. Just ask anyone who wants you to buy something from them or who is excited to set up a portfolio for you in their mutual fund; they’ll make it easy.

Who doesn’t want to be a millionaire without the work?

Oh that tiny path over there, that looks rocky and lonely?

Yes you could take that one, but everyone else is taking that beautiful tree-lined path over here. I hear that it leads to a glowing future.

Why do I stay here? I just really enjoy helping others find their dreams, for a small fee.