“Where one door is shut another is opened” Cervantes 1620 CE

Doe not as some vngracious pastors doe,
Showe me the step and thorny way to heauen
Whiles a puft, and reckles libertine
Himselfe the primrose path of dalience treads

Hamlet, Act I, Scene iii – Shakespeare

“Trying to understand is like straining through muddy water. Have the patience to wait! Be still and allow the mud to settle.” – Lao Tzu

Life is a masterclass in patience.

There are entire days, sometimes weeks even years, where all our best efforts seemingly land on infertile soil. We turn towards our path only to find sleeping policemen slowing forward progress. It can appear that the road ahead is closed. There will be spectators lining the way. Some will cheer us forward while others will heckle and catcall, jeering at the efforts of those who have stepped into the race while they enjoy the safety of the stands.

It can be hard to tell whether we’re wasting our time when it feels like nothing is going our way. We begin to question ourselves and our choices. We can spend years knocking on a door as we ignore the open one behind us. We often assume that if something is meant to be for us, then it will be easy. So as soon as the road gets rocky, and the weather changes we decide that we must have messed up and taken the wrong path.

The thing about doors, paths, and perseverance is that it’s pretty obvious when a door opens and that no path is easy all the time. If we’re not being offered a valid alternative from what we’re pursuing, then it’s not a door. If we have only two options, such as, stay where we are or quit, then it’s not a door. Staying where we are takes patience and perseverance. We can run around in circles but if it isn’t time yet, we’ll come back to where we are anyway. We haven’t failed, we just need to wait. While we wait, there are always opportunities around us to increase our readiness for when a door does open. Maybe we need to practice patience. Maybe we need to spend time in deep thought. Just because we’re waiting doesn’t mean there’s nothing to do.

I started college in 1980. Between family and finances I ended up dropping out in the middle of my second semester. That led to job changes, residence changes, severe financial challenges and my stint in the USAF. I took night classes for years while in the military. Every time I matriculated I was beginning again. I went to 4 different colleges in 6 years, but I liked learning and made myself a promise that I would get a degree someday. Each delay, each stumbling block, caused me to grow.

By the time I left the military, I had become much better at being a student. While I waited, I had learned the things that I needed in order to thrive in college. Computer programming taught me to approach problems from angles I would never have learned elsewhere. I went from hating word problems to enjoying them. Aerospace Physiology brought me a comfortable rapport with medical Latin, basic medicine, and physics, which is surprisingly useful to this day.

My time overseas changed my world views about history and people. I was comfortable with both French and German but realized after living in Mississippi that no matter how well I thought I knew a language, those speaking a patois can still do me in.The path was bumpy and difficult, with quite a few joyful moments as well, but I finally got my degree in 1996. I doubt I would have graduated with honors if I hadn’t taken the path I did to get there.

Sometimes it’s the waiting that makes the difference. Never judge a path by its cover.