“Such is the influence which the condition of our own thoughts, exercises, even over the appearance of external objects. Men who look on nature, and their fellow-men, and cry that all is dark and gloomy, are in the right; but the sombre colours are reflections from their own jaundiced eyes and hearts. The real hues are delicate, and need a clearer vision.”
― Charles Dickens, Oliver Twist

I suppose that I must have imagined my life, in December 2025, as a doomed hellscape. Something Oliver Twist would have been quite familiar with that encompassed coal soot on snow, penny flowers being sold by children in dirty layers of ratty, too thin clothing, all set in tiny alleys with the ever-present gray of dirty stuccoed walls lining slush-filled streets. It would have resembled a version of the black and white movie sets used for decades to illustrate the lives of the poor and the nearly homeless. Such an image would be an impossible scene in Albuquerque New Mexico. We’re more of a teeth-chattering dry, cold and windswept empty city streets under icy blue skies type of place. But how we picture our future lives often has more to do with our fears of the moment than any actual knowledge of the future. A lot has changed in my levels of fear about the future. While my life hasn’t changed significantly, I have.

Where I used to wake with worry, I now wake with peace. It took quite a while to change that and it was only yesterday that I realized the difference. I wish I could say that it can be accomplished in a few simple steps. But it’s very difficult to categorize exactly what was the key that finally opened the lock. I do know a few things that helped.

One thing is this blog. Purposefully reframing my world as a world of abundance and generosity rather than a cruel place where no one cared has been an interesting path to walk. 3 days each week I sit down with the goal of focusing on the good in the world, or the good that comes from the challenges faced. I work to find the good memories, the solid lessons learned, the reasons I kept going and the small joys that on some days I really have to search out. It has changed my focus more than any private journal. On here, I can’t wander off and fall into old patterns. I won’t make up excuses for myself or others. Reality takes focus and a well-lit mental library.

Second, recognizing that I get to choose what is in my part of the world. The world around us, as brought to us by others, is not the whole picture. A year ago, Assad of Syria, ran away and hid in Russia. Luigi Mangione made the news and the elections in the USA had happened. Ukraine, Slava Ukraine, was still fighting and most of that is still exactly the same. Throughout the year though, the outside world would have had me stockpiling provisions at least 3 different times because come rain or shine there’s always a reason to buy something now. They would have had me convinced that Ukraine was going to lose at any minute and that Russia was this enormous powerhouse that all should fear. Ukraine, in all their best ways, is still standing and the other guy is looking pretty flimsy. All the strife and idiocy that comes from Washington DC is not as important as what is going on with my neighbor. Most of it is rumour and innuendo that won’t stand up with time anyway. Those aren’t my world and they aren’t the entirety of the world either. I have chosen to refuse to be afraid. I have chosen to focus on the things that might actually be within my power to change.

Finally, I have had to accept my lack of god-like powers. I’m just a person. I can’t fix things that aren’t mine to fix and that’s been a real hard lesson. Sometimes people have to walk their path, even when we are sure they are making a bad decision. I can’t see the future. I am the world’s worst oracle. If I don’t know what December 8, 2026 is going to look like in my own life then I can’t possibly see someone else’s future. Without god-like powers that leaves me less to worry about. Tomorrow really will take care of itself. Today I rely on a few rituals – routines – and the rest is just doing my best with the intention to be kind, generous, calm, and honest no matter what happens. What rituals? Every morning, as my feet touch the floor, I say thanks for the opportunity to create another day. Every night before I sleep I banish all negative thoughts, images, and feelings from my mind and heart, releasing them into the night. That’s it. I don’t save my prayers until bedtime. I say them all throughout the day. See something awful? Do what you can and send up good energy. I never, ever wish something bad for someone. After all what if it came true?

After a year, my life is pretty much the same but I am a completely different person so my life feels utterly changed and much better than I expected.