dailyprompt-2146

There was an election coming. I had already seen the battle lines being drawn within families. But the media pushed the fight. They marketed it like it was the Heavy Weight Title match. There was merchandise to sell and there were parades to join and threats to downplay. The fighting expanded beyond the boundaries of the arena. It bled into the stands and the spectators began taking part in skirmishes against the other side.I retreated from nearly all my multi-decade friendships. I left social media platforms and virtual worlds because I didn’t need fruitless arguments with people who used to be my friends.

I was raised Catholic but with a heavy helping of appreciating schadenfreude – great grandfather George was a 1st generation immigrant – so not judging wasn’t as easy as it could have been.

“1Judge not, that you may not be judged,  2 For with what judgment you judge, you shall be judged: and with what measure you mete, it shall be measured to you again.  3 And why seest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye; and seest not the beam that is in thy own eye?” – Matthew 7

I have no idea why the people that I had called my friends went on the attack. I can make educated guesses all day long and I still won’t know. All I really can ever know is my side. Which means, that I should probably just stick to making sure my side is kept honest. Part of keeping myself honest is acting rather than reacting and thinking rather than judging. I know I’m not the best at that when I’m surprised (AKA frightened) or angry. Now that I am no longer feeling threatened, it would seem to be a very good time to revisit my reactions.

We expend effort to keep holding people’s actions and words against them. It is more effort than learning a lesson, or not extending trust again.I am too ready to label actions ‘mistakes, their choices ‘bad’, or their difference of ethics as ‘moral failures’. Now, those all might be exactly as I think and I don’t have to twist myself into a pretzel in order to somehow ignore our differences. But until I can somehow give them a fair trial, it’s not my job to judge them. It’s my job to protect my boundaries and my views.

“Forbear to judge, for we are sinners all.”― William Shakespeare

I really could do less holding people’s mistakes, bad choices, or moral failures against them. I think it will be a life-long endeavor that I can only hope works both ways.