I now consider the ones that I walked away from along the way.
Those possible lives of mine that I saw in passing as the train I was on carried me along to the next station. Some were just a glimpse of color, like the red-coated girl in Schindler’s List, that was seen for a short time but never forgotten. One life acting as a single point of reference for all the lives that might have reached their potential if they had been given the chance. Others though, were long companions that slowly faded away. Soft songs of the heart that were left unfulfilled by the choices I made and the promises I had to keep. Those shimmering possibilities of better futures became clouded and dulled as the dust of the everyday slowly fell upon them. I chose too many paychecks that did not cover the losses of my passions. The illusion of safety was the siren’s call that led me astray.
My eyes have lost their focus. My voice has lost an octave. My heart has lost its innocence. The paths behind me, career and otherwise, have closed their ways. But some of those byways and highways that I saw along the way have not closed their gates. So while my eyes can no longer read the fine print and my voice today cannot carry the Habanera, those intriguing trails left untaken still beckon. The fine print need not be read to write and the voice is not the only way to make music. Innocence never lasts and what we learn hopefully turns to wisdom. Mr Frost chose one path on that winter’s night, but the one he left behind didn’t disappear.
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