If you want something your way for free, don’t expect servants.

“You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes, well, you just might find
You get what you need” – Rolling Stones

When you make goals what do they look like? Do you have a vision board, or maybe a journal? Are you envisioning detailed specifics? Or do you have a 5 year plan that expands out to a 10 year plan? I’ve tried all of these except the vision board.

Do you find any of them work for you? I haven’t had many positive outcomes with getting really specific. maybe it’s because I like so many things. One suggestion I was offered included defining exactly what type of house I would like, and where the house would be located. That was really hard for me to answer. It seems simple enough but I don’t really care all that much. I can find beauty most anywhere.

Another approach was to imagine my perfect day. What would I do for breakfast? Where would I work? What type of car would I drive if I could have any car in the whole world? This one didn’t work either. There’s not one thing that’s perfect. I don’t have any car preferences beyond being able to drive it comfortably( Okay there is one, manual transmission please). I’ve spent a lifetime working on accepting imperfection. I’ve worked for years now to move beyond deciding on how something should look, work, or happen. It’s taken a lot of hard work to get where I am. I couldn’t tell you if I’d be happier living in a cottage near the woods, or if that same happiness would be found easier in a city walkup. Because I’d most likely be happy in both, and sad in both. It will always vary.

I’ve tried the timeline plans. My attempts at a 5 year plan never seemed to recover from the aerodynamic wake of an unexpected life event. Timeline goals remind me of an economics axiom ‘ceteris paribus’ or “other things being equal.” Generally meaning that yes that plan is good if nothing else changes, as in “God willing and the creek don’t rise.

I’ve learned to keep my goals vague and instead focus on concrete and attainable steps that seem to be heading in the general vicinity of those goals. Instead of pursuing a goal that requires other people to cooperate voluntarily with my ideas, I either choose to make plans that I can accomplish alone, or I expect to hire someone to do the work I cannot. Usually, both of those approaches are required. This is probably what everyone else already does but it took me ages to learn that I couldn’t expect anyone to walk my path with me. It took me walking someone else’s path for so long that I lost the map of my own path for me to see that that was not the way it works.

One of the other issues I’ve had with planning is that I’m not in charge of the world. I can’t count the number of years where my approach began with “well if I was in charge”. I can’t make anyone do anything and I don’t really want to. That’s more responsibility than I am capable of shouldering. All I can do is walk the path before me, be kind to those I meet along the way, and don’t litter the trail behind me. I’m heading up there somewhere. I’m aiming for better living conditions instead of a idealized version of an old, creaky Edwardian house. If that house happens to show up great but if I get a safe and solid Adobe that’s good too. I’ll let the universe, God, Odin, whomever you view as in charge of things, handle the details and I’ll just keep working towards a better outcome, whatever it looks like.

“Great Creator, I will take care of the quantity. You take care of the quality.”

― Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity