Happy Monday!I really needed that break.

The longer you live, the more you see and the more you see; the more your beliefs get validated.

We find what we’re looking for.

Change ourselves and we change our world.

Here’s another: For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction.

These are all true and fairly obvious. I’m not breaking new ground here. But what do they mean on the field of battle, otherwise known as daily life? Let’s talk strategy and tactics. First of all what is the difference? In my overly simplistic dictionary of complex topics, strategy is the plan and tactics are how the plan is executed.

Strategy for change.

1. You absolutely have to understand the field. How big is the change? What timeline is involved? What change are you trying to create? Where? When will you know you have accomplished your goal? Who and what else are on the field with you? Are they allies with their own agenda that aligns with yours? Are they allies only until they reach their goal? Who and what are your opponents? Is the field mainly philosophical, or is it a field of materials and transportation? These are some examples of the big idea questions that help with figuring out how possible it is to create successful change. The strategic issues of the field combined with the answers to similar questions will lead you to a set of tactics that can be used to apply pressure in areas in ways that cause an opposite and equal reaction. But, a major caveat of all battles is that once the contest is enjoined all previous plans are near meaningless. The plans are to get the impetus of the battle to flow in a direction that benefits you. After that, it’s action and reaction. If you’ve planned well, you have set up back up plans and choke points for the contest that can aid you based on what you think your opponent might do. Most of us really don’t do this part. For example if I wanted to change, let’s say, my spouse’s habit of leaving socks on the floor, I’d begin by exploring just how important the outcome is to me and why. Over time I’ve found that many daily things really aren’t important enough to warrant enacting plans for change. Most are just annoying and as you can see from above, creating long-term change requires effort, focus and will.
2. The ends never justify the means. The tactics we use give us the outcome that those tactics create. Many strategists think only of the most direct means to get the desired momentary outcome. In other words, they drop all consideration of the final goal, and its ability to maintain a successful long-term change, in order to attain a quick win of the lesser contest. If you are willing to treat your opponent in unethical ways, you are setting up a situation where you may defeat your opponent short-term but you have almost guaranteed a loss for yourself long-term.For instance, people who cheat at games of skill, or chance, will eventually either get caught or lose their place in the group. It’s a short-term strategy that is destined to fail, especially if the goal is to be seen as a good player.
3. Another part of strategy is knowing yourself as well as knowing your opponent. We all have our issues and therefore so do our opponents. Do we often assume the worst intentions from others? Or do we give too much grace and miss our opportunity to maintain our boundaries? If we’re working on creating change we need to understand how much time, energy and dedication we are willing and able to apply to the situation. Do we even have the skills needed to create the change? Can we learn them somewhere? It can be as straightforward as how much money you have compared to your opponent. Knowledge is priceless.

Change is notoriously hard to see. Most people don’t recognize change because they aren’t looking for it. They don’t know where to look and when. We can see change in things like the stock market because it’s tracked and graphed and there’s a standard that is used to talk about it. But our own efforts at change don’t have a daily ticker unless we make one. A while ago, I had been seriously gaslit by a partner for over a decade. It led to me writing down the events of every single day so I could compare what was said versus what had been recorded. There often was a relatively long time difference between the two. That was when I began to keep track on paper, or notes, of changes. When I look at my daily life, I assess each day in comparison to the previous day or recent history in order to maintain perspective. It has paid off over time in many ways and one of those ways is in tracking how my actions create change. If you want to understand how your actions and choices create change, you need to create a way to track it. That means there needs to be a strategy and definition of what change means and looks like to you.

I have rarely, if at all, knowingly attempted change on a large scale. But I have seen the ripples of choices that I’ve made over the years. Some good. Some not so good. One of those situations left me in therapy for decades. Seeing the outcomes of our choices, especially the unexpected outcomes, can freeze us in our tracks or motivate us to do more. I was honestly afraid to make a choice for fear of making a mistake, it took some very good counselors, EMDR and a quiet walk with God, for me to realize that I just didn’t have that much say in the big outcomes. It’s more helpful to work for the small outcomes and help others find their hope for a better world as well. Think of it like watering flowers in a garden. We know they need water. We know they will most likely grow if we water them. We also know that we can’t control the weather, nor the seasons, so we must work with those things we cannot control in order to have our flowers bloom. Below an example: Did they have any idea about Homestuck and how many would listen to KPop because of this song? One of my favorites.