Abundance and wishes granted are odd things. Sometimes when they’re right in our faces we don’t recognize them. Around 30 years ago, I had a wish, what I think of as a goal with no discernable path, it was to have a piece of my work in a museum. What I envisioned was to have some grand museum, like the Metropolitan Museum of Art (MOMA) acquire a piece of my artwork as part of its collection. Mind you, I can draw fairly well. I worked as a fine jeweler and I have a degree in the arts. So when I expressed that desire, I limited the possible outcomes to what I could envision at the time. I didn’t realize what I was doing.

When the goal of having my work in a museum was achieved, twice, it didn’t register. It didn’t register when a piece of my jewelry was on display at the New Mexico Museum of Natural History because it was part of a special exhibit, not the permanent collection. That wasn’t part of my definition. It took more than 3 decades after a plane I worked with became part of the collection of the Smithsonian’s National Air & Space Museum for me to see that my wish had been attained once again. I didn’t create that plane, it wasn’t my work, but it was a large part of my life while stationed at Edwards AFB.

https://airandspace.si.edu/stories/editorial/setting-records-sr-71-blackbird

Instead of seeing the plane’s retirement and placement in a museum as part of the abundance in my life, I chose to let it be a negative. I chose to feel immeasurably old. Because I had defined my wish so tightly, I couldn’t see it when it was granted. 972 is still there, and it will remain there long after I’m gone.

There’s a scene in one of my favorite movies Leap of Faith (1992) it starts at 59 minutes in. A traveling revival show has broken down in the high plains during an extended drought. They set up the show hoping to make some money while they’re stranded.

A local man in the crowded revival tent asks “When is it gonna rain?” Jonas Nightingale, the revival preacher, (Steve Martin) gives an answer that avoids the question but manages to contain wisdom anyway.

“Let me ask you this question. What is rain anyway? Is it the sweet nectar your crops are craving? Is it tears of joy? Or is it the rain that fall on every life, the dressing down for your boss, the harsh word from a loved one, the bank pounding on the door? So when you say to me, Jonas when’s it gonna rain? Well all I can say is, When’s it gonna stop?”

Jonas never answers the man’s question. Jonas is a grifter, a film flam man. But what he says about rain, reminds me to check my expectations. In a world where detailed future forecasting, and 5 year plans, are considered the bare minimum, we can mess that up by limiting ourselves to what we think is possible. We rarely have a broad enough view to be able to envision possibilities that we haven’t witnessed already.

My family had very low expectations for me growing up. It didn’t take much to surpass them. Even though I set what seemed like impossible goals for myself, I reached nearly all of them before I was 50. I didn’t reach them because I was super human, I reached them because what I thought of as life goal was pretty small in the bigger scheme.

I have learned to not be precise in my requests to the universe. I am much more limited than the universe, and my imagination cannot match the possibilities that are available. Instead of aiming for a 2 story period craftsman bungalow somewhere near the Pacific coastline between Anaheim, California and Bellingham, Washington, my goal is to have better living conditions. I leave the rest up to the universe.

If I don’t look for what I think I should find, then it’s much easier to see what’s right in front of me.