“Mommy, how long do I have to look like this? Why did this have to happen to me? What did I do to deserve this?” – Avery Russell, 11, Reynoldsburg OH

Never accept blame for things you can’t take credit for if the situation was reversed.

Abundance is not a reward, if it was, the wicked would never prosper.

Bad things don’t just happen to the people who deserve them, they happen to everyone.

If you don’t know the story of Avery Russell here’s a very short synopsis:

Avery was at the house of someone she knew, there was an attack by multiple dogs and Avery ran. The dogs caught her and mauled her terribly. She was saved by a neighbor with a power washer. She has been in and out of the hospital for multiple corrective surgeries and physical therapy. She will have years of corrective work ahead of her.

Here’s a link to the story: https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2025/04/06/dog-attack-laws-mom-wants-reform/82722764007/

I have no doubts whatsoever that at least one person has opined on what a young girl could have done differently. But this public review of suggested responses in perfect worlds is meaningless and only causes victims to blame themselves. No matter what is suggested, run or not run, stay inside or go outside, there is no proof that any of those options would have guaranteed that Avery would not have been attacked. But all the advice that comes too late to be of any help does, is to create an environment where we somehow believe that if we just do the right thing, make the right choice, or wear the right outfit, we can control our future.

We don’t live in a just world. We don’t live in a world where karma doles out rewards and punishments at the end of the quarter. We don’t live in a world where God blasts the bad guy with a lightning bolt. Heck, we don’t even live in a world where there’s a cop around when you need one. There are echoes of our choices and actions though. As one of my very favorite bands wrote:

“It all comes back to you, you’re bound to get what you deserve
Try and test that, you’re bound to get served.” Sublime – What I Got

Whether we deserve what happens to us, has very little to do with what happens to us. What we do with what happens to us has everything to do with who we become. Avery didn’t do anything to deserve what happened to her. She wants an answer as to why it happened to her. Her mom has no answer. The priest at the local church has no answer. We are left with theories, opinions, and guesses that have attempted to address the unknown and the big whys. No one really knows why; even the physicist can only tell you what happens, not why. We get to choose our view on these big questions. We also get to choose our responses. We have an entire lifetime to do both.

In a world where many things don’t make sense, we do have the means and the methods to make the place better. At the very least we can stop tossing our advice around like hand grenades, and instead actually use our hearts and minds to reach out and help. Especially when there are no answers, there’s the answer of love and community.